all things apathy

Probably my favorite word, and a word that coincidentally describes me in almost every possible sense, is apathetic. This is a fitting description of me particularly around holidays, be it Halloween, Christmas, Columbus Day (but never Thanksgiving), or… you guessed it. Today. Which we all know, unless you are living in a cave, far away from civilization where the scent of obligatory roses or chocolate hearts is too faint to recognize, is Valentines Day.

Please note that I am not alone this Valentines Day, nor have I been for several Valentines Days before now. Please note that my apathy towards this particular holiday has very little to do with how crowded stores get with swarms of men trying to buy their way into happy marriages. I don’t know anything about that. I don’t leave my house from November to March anyway. It has very little to do with anything truly reasonable, if I’m honest.

My apathy towards Valentines Day appears to correlate directly with the fact that I’m just not a very loving person. I didn’t snuggle my baby extra this morning before I left for work. I told my husband “Happy Valentines Day” in the car this morning as he drove me for work, but I (perhaps shamefully) admit that I did not make out with him for an hour and a half this morning (I love you Papa Bear, but I really had to shower today). And today we’re celebrating by going to the temple, something we’re doing because we haven’t gone in a long time. We’ll probably eat dinner in the cafeteria there. Hopefully there’s pie.

In high school, my boyfriend gave me flowers on Valentines Day. A few years later, we ended up getting married. He never bought me flowers after that first occurrence. He said it was because I didn’t act appreciative of them and he felt burned. I’m not sure what would have been an appropriate reaction, considering we were at the time in a long distance relationship and being 16-years-old at the time, it’s pretty understandable I think that I had the emotional maturity of a 16-year-old girl. And I’m pretty sure my holiday-related apathy started with that bouquet of roses. And also, marrying him was a bad idea.

But now I have a good husband who doesn’t do the roses thing, but he does do pretty well at making sure our baby stays alive while I work all day. He takes me to the temple. And while I’m working (or writing blogs while at work), he stays home, puts on an apron (not really, but I like the visual better), and vacuums the floors.

Every Valentines Day, someone on Facebook mentions 900 times that we should love each other every day, not just one day a year. Yeah, sure, it’s a nice thought. But who has time to do that much vacuuming?

Happy Valentines Day. In the true spirit of Valentines Day, please hang onto your head. You can’t take too many precautions on a day like this.